Yet Another Political Cow Thing

Yeah, they're as common as dirt. But, as far as I know, there's not a 'Cow Political Theory' dedicated to our chums on the extreme left, and, besides, Communism's always good for a chuckle. Alors, voila:

Communist Political and Economic Theory Explained Through Cows

Marxism: After an age-long struggle, the proletariat throw off the shackles of the bourgeoisie and milk the cows. The milk is distributed evenly ensuring everybody gets a millilitre or two. Everyone is equal: equally unhappy and equally short of milk. Get over unhappiness over cup of tea. Green tea, of course, because proper tea would be theft.

Soviet Communism: Despite there being plenty of milk for everyone, there are long queues and inevitably shortages. People discuss failures of the capitalist system while sipping glasses of milk imported from the US. Meanwhile, the government has sent the cows to the Gulag over fears of them mooing anti-Soviet Propaganda.

Cuban Communism: After eventually deciding they live in a Communist state, citizens are well educated enough to read instruction booklet on milking cows. There is an attempt to seize the milk by Americans and Cubans happier with the previous corrupt dictatorship. Meanwhile, cows turn out to be secret plot to assassinate Castro and are sent into exile.

East-German Communism: Watch West Germans milk cows while being told how they are living in milk-less squalor. East-German cows milked. Milk is ‘borrowed’ by big brother Russia, who promises to pay you back one day.

African Communism: The one cow is milked. Milk taken by government to distribute elsewhere. People get fair share of dirt. In the middle of the night, people are taken away for having too much dirt. Cow dies, sparking bloody war with neighbouring country.

Far- East Communism: People milk cows. The government seizes the milk while informing citizens how proud, strong and milky the country is. Nuclear missiles are primed after apparent insults over milk production by western scum. West is bemused.

Democratic Socialism: People milk the cows. The government takes the milk and holds a nationwide referendum to decide where the milk should go. By the time this has been decided, the milk has gone off. New Referendum is unanimously passed to begin production of more milk. Rinse and repeat.